An Open Letter to Paula Deen:

meinkitchen

Photo Courtesy of: Johnathan M. Lewis

Dear Paula Deen,

So it’s been a tough week for you… believe me you I know something about tough weeks being a beginning food writer and lowly culinary historian.  Of course honey, I’d kill for one of your worst days as I could rest myself on the lanai, the veranda, the portico (okay that was really tongue in cheek), the porch..whatever…as long as its breezy and mosquito-free.  First Food Network now Smithfield.  (Well not so mad about Smithfield—not the most ethical place to shill for, eh, Paula?)

I am currently engaged in a project I began in 2011 called The Cooking Gene Project—my goal to examine family and food history as the descendant of Africans, Europeans and Native Americans—enslaved people and enslavers—from Africa to America and from Slavery to Freedom.  You and I are both human, we are both Americans, we are both quite “healthily” built, and yet none of these labels is more profound for me than the fact we are both Southern.  Sweet tea runs in our blood, in fact is our blood…What I understand to be true, a lot of your critics don’t…which is, as Southerners our ancestors co-created the food and hospitality and manners which you were born to 66 years ago and I, thirty-six.  In the words of scholar Mechal Sobel, this was “a world they made together,” but beyond that, it is a world we make together.  So I speak to you as a fellow Southerner, a cousin if you will, not as a combatant.

To be part of the national surprise towards you saying the word “nigger” in the past (I am a cultural and culinary historian and so therefore I am using the word within context…) is at best naïve and at worst, an attempt to hide the pervasiveness of racism, specifically anti-Black racism in certain currents of American culture—not just Southern.  Take for example the completely un-Christian and inhuman rage at Cheerios for their simple and very American ad showing a beautiful biracial girl talking to her white mother and pouring cereal on the chest of her Black father.  That Cheerio’s had to shut down the comments section says that the idea of inter-human relationships outside of one’s color bracket is for many hiding behind a computer screen—a sign of the apocalypse.  So just like those old spaghetti sauce ads, yes, America, racism—“it’s in there” even when we were prefer it not be.

When you said, “of course,” I wasn’t flabbergasted, I was rather, relieved…In fact we Black Southerners have an underground saying, “better the Southern white man than the Northern one, because at least you know where he stands…” but Paula I knew what you meant, and I knew where you were coming from.  I’m not defending that or saying its right—because it’s that word—and the same racist venom that drove my grandparents into the Great Migration almost 70 years ago. I am not in agreement with esteemed journalist Bob Herbert who said “brothers shouldn’t use it either..” I think women have a right to the word “b….” gay men have a right to the word “queer” or “f…” and it’s up to people with oppressive histories to decide when and where the use of certain pejorative terms is appropriate.  Power in language is not a one way street.  Obviously I am not encouraging you to use the word further, but I am not going to hide behind ideals when the realities of our struggles with identity as a nation are clear.  No sound bite can begin to peel back the layers of this issue.

Some have said you are not a racist.  Sorry, I don’t believe that…I am more of the Avenue Q type—everybody’s—you guessed it—a little bit racist.  This is nothing to be proud of no more than we are proud of our other sins and foibles.  It’s something we should work against.  It takes a lifetime to unlearn taught prejudice or socially mandated racism or even get over strings of negative experiences we’ve had with groups outside of our own.  We have a really lousy language—and I don’t just mean because we took a Spanish and Portuguese word (negro) and turned into the most recognizable racial slur on earth…in any language…because we have a million and one ways to hate, disdain, prejudge, discriminate and yet we hide behind a few paltry words like racism, bigotry, prejudice when we damn well know that we have thousands of words for cars—because we LOVE cars….and food—because we LOVE food—and yet in this language you and I share, how we break down patterns of thought that lead to social discord like racism, are sorely lacking.  We are a cleaver people at hiding our obsessions with downgrading the other.

Problem two…I want you to understand that I am probably more angry about the cloud of smoke this fiasco has created for other issues surrounding race and Southern food.  To be real, you using the word “nigger” a few times in the past does nothing to destroy my world.  It may make me sigh for a few minutes in resentment and resignation, but I’m not shocked or wounded.  No victim here.  Systemic racism in the world of Southern food and public discourse not your past epithets are what really piss me off.  There is so much press and so much activity around Southern food and yet the diversity of people of color engaged in this art form and telling and teaching its history and giving it a future are often passed up or disregarded.  Gentrification in our cities, the lack of attention to Southern food deserts often inhabited by the non-elites that aren’t spoken about, the ignorance and ignoring of voices beyond a few token Black cooks/chefs or being called on to speak to our issues as an afterthought is what gets me mad. In the world of Southern food, we are lacking a diversity of voices and that does not just mean Black people—or Black perspectives!  We are surrounded by culinary injustice where some Southerners take credit for things that enslaved Africans and their descendants played key roles in innovating.  Barbecue, in my lifetime, may go the way of the Blues and the banjo….a relic of our culture that whisps away.  That tragedy rooted in the unwillingness to give African American barbecue masters and other cooks an equal chance at the platform is far more galling than you saying “nigger,” in childhood ignorance or emotional rage or social whimsy.

Culinary injustice is what you get where you go to plantation museums and enslaved Blacks are not even talked about, but called servants.  We are invisible.  Visitors come from all over to marvel at the architecture and wallpaper and windowpanes but forget the fact that many of those houses were built by enslaved African Americans or that the food that those plantations were renowned for came from Black men and Black women truly slaving away in the detached kitchens.  Imagine how I, a culinary historian and living history interpreter feel during some of these tours where my ancestors are literally annihilated and whisked away to the corners of those rooms, dying multiple deaths of anonymity and cultural amnesia.  I’m so tired of reading about how “okra” is an “African word.”(For land’s sake ya know “apple” isn’t a “European word…” its an English word that comes from German like okra comes from Igbo and Twi!) I am so tired of seeing people of African descent relegated to the tertiary status when even your pal Alton Brown has said, it was enslaved Black people cooking the food.  Culinary injustice is the annihilation of our food voices—past, present and foreseeable future—and nobody will talk about that like they are talking about you and the “n word.” For shame.

You see Paula, your grits may not be like mine, but one time I saw you make hoecakes on your show and I never heard tell of where them hoecakes really came from.  Now not to compare apples and oranges but when I was a boy it was a great pleasure to hear Nathalie Dupree talk about how beaten biscuits and country captain and gumbo started.    More often than not, she gave a nod to my ancestors.  Don’t forget that the Southern food you have been crowned the queen of was made into an art largely in the hands of enslaved cooks, some like the ones who prepared food on your ancestor’s Georgia plantation.  You, just like me cousin, stand squarely on what late playwright August Wilson called, “the self defining ground of the slave quarter.”  There and in the big house kitchen, Africa, Europe and Native America(s) melded and became a fluid genre of world cuisine known as Southern food.  Your barbecue is my West African babbake, your fried chicken, your red rice, your hoecake, your watermelon, your black eyed peas, your crowder peas, your muskmelon, your tomatoes, your peanuts, your hot peppers, your Brunswick stew and okra soup, benne, jambalaya, hoppin’ john, gumbo, stewed greens and fat meat—have inextricable ties to the plantation South and its often Black Majority coming from strong roots in West and Central Africa.

Don’t be fooled by the claims that Black people don’t watch you.  We’ve been watching you.  We all have opinions about you.  You were at one point sort of like our Bill Clinton. (You know the first Black president?)   When G. Garvin and the Neely’s and the elusive B Smith (who they LOVED to put on late on Saturday nights or early Sunday mornings!) were few and far between, you were our sorta soul mama, the white lady with the gadonkadonk and the sass and the signifying who gave us a taste of the Old Country-which is for us—the former Confederacy and just beyond.  Furthermore, as a male who practices an “alternative lifestyle” (and by the way I am using that phrase in bitter sarcastic irony), it goes without saying that many of my brothers have been you for Halloween, and you are right up there with Dolly Parton, Dixie Carter and Tallullah Bankhead of old as one of the muses of the Southern gay male imagination.  We don’t despise you, we don’t even think you made America fat.  We think you are a businesswoman who has made some mistakes, has character flaws like everybody else and in fact is now a scapegoat.  I find it hard to be significantly angry at you when during the last election the re-disenfranchisement of the Negro—like something from the time of W.E.B. Du Bois was a national cause celebre. Hell, today the voting rights act was gutted and I’m sure many think this is a serious win for “democracy.”  If  I want to be furious about something racial—well America—get real—we’ve had a good twelve years of really really rich material that the National media has set aside to talk about Paula Deen.  Yes Paula,  in light of all these things, you are the ultimate, consummate racist, and the one who made us fat, and the reason why American food sucks and ……you don’t believe that any more than I do. 

A fellow Georgian of yours once said that one day the “sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners would sit down at the table of brotherhood.”  Well no better time than now.  Paula, I don’t have to tell you redemption is yours to choose, to have and to embrace.  As a Jew, I extend the invitation to do teshuvah—which means to repent—but better—to return to a better state, a state of shalem–wholeness and shalom–peace.  You used food to rescue your life, your family and your destiny.  I admire that.  I know that I have not always made good choices and to be honest none of us are perfect.  This is an opportunity to grow and renew.

If there is anything The Cooking Gene has taught me—its about the art of reconciliation.  We aren’t happy with you right now.  Then again some of the things you have said or have been accused of saying aren’t surprising.  In so many ways, that’s the more unfortunate aspect.  We are resigned to believe and understand that our neighbor is to be suspected before respected.  It doesn’t have to be this way, and it doesn’t have to go on forever.  As a species we cannot conduct ourselves in this manner.  As creations of the Living G-d, we are commanded to be better.  You and I are both the descendants of people who lived, fought, died, suffered so that we could be better in our own time.  I’m disappointed but I’m not heartless.  And better yet, praise G-d I ain’t hopeless.

If you aren’t busy on September 7, and I surely doubt that you are not busy—I would like to invite you to a gathering at a historic antebellum North Carolina plantation.  We are doing a fundraiser dinner for Historic Stagville, a North Carolina Historic Site.  One of the largest in fact, much larger than the one owned by your great-grandfather’s in Georgia.  30,000 acres once upon a time with 900 enslaved African Americans working the land over time. They grew tobacco, corn, wheat and cotton.  I want you to walk the grounds with me, go into the cabins, and most of all I want you to help me cook.  Everything is being prepared using locally sourced food, half of which we hope will come from North Carolina’s African American farmers who so desperately need our support.  Everything will be cooked according to 19th century methods.  So September 7, 2013, if you’re brave enough, let’s bake bread and break bread together at Historic Stagville. This isn’t publicity this is opportunity.  Leave the cameras at home.  Don’t worry, it’s cool, nobody will harm you if you’re willing to walk to the Mourner’s Bench.  Better yet, I’ll be there right with you.

G-d Bless,

Culinary Historian, Food Writer and Living History Interpreter

Michael W. Twitty

For a link to a video of the event Paula missed:  click here.

For a link to the MAD Symposium video where I talk about culinary justice and injustice: click here.

998 comments on “An Open Letter to Paula Deen

  1. Pingback: FOOD FOR THOUGHT | storymama01

  2. Hilda B Riggsbee's avatar
    Hilda B Riggsbee

    As usual, brilliant!

    Like

  3. Margaret's avatar
    Margaret

    As a Native of Savannah, I am so pleased to read this. Please share with the Savannah Morning Newspaper.

    Like

  4. Deborah's avatar

    Thanks, Michael, for your eloquent and nuanced thoughts that match the complexity of racism and being Southern, rather than skimming over them — as you point out — in naive or deceptive ways. I love your description of the “national surprise.” I, too, was relieved when I heard her say “of course,” since I wouldn’t have believed a white Southern woman her age otherwise. There are many people in my (white, Southern) family who could say the same of their past language, though they would be ashamed of it now. But I especially want to thank you for helping us to step back far enough from these specific events to consider how they fit into the historical and ongoing conversation. Your insights into culinary traditions are fascinating and took this reflection in directions I could not have imagined. Your faithful embrace of the real, gritty, uncomfortable, intentional work of forgiveness and reconciliation is inspiring and I hope she takes you up on your offer to join you in September. Blessings on your creative work of tikkun olam!

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  5. Jean Buffum's avatar
    Jean Buffum

    Thank you so much for your comments. I would like to come to Stagville Plantation to meet you and contribute to your fundraiser.

    Like

  6. Judy Treby's avatar
    Judy Treby

    Michael – I have known you a long time- the very first day I met you and decided our school would benefit by having you as a teacher was the beginning of MY learning so much – our trip from CAJE in N.C. to Rockville was such fun- I have followed your journey from near( the Smithsonian Folklife Festival) and enjoy all I read and hear about you. Your post just adds more nourishment to my soul and joy in my heart- carry on, friend!

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  7. Mike Mason's avatar
    Mike Mason

    As a man in his 50;s who was raised in the South, I thank you for your insightful explanation of our racial relationships and struggles. I was raised on and cook in the Southern foods tradition, and would love to talk with you about it sometime. I was chastised in my occupation as a teacher for stating the very observation you made that everyone is a little racist. It is our job to recognize this and try to overcome it. Now, off to cook up some green beans and cornbread from my garden, and can the rest.

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  8. gale passo's avatar
    gale passo

    And to that I say, amen. Beautifully expressed. K’doshim aleicha. Shalom.

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  9. Michael jubinsky's avatar

    Great letter. Thank you for an insightful and rational perspective on an emotionally charged and distorted issue.

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  10. Dave's avatar

    While I Iin noway defend slavery what I would like to see from historians is the fact that it was blacks that sold blacks into slavery. If you had to be a slave then America was by far the luckiest place to be. And finally let it be known that blacks her owned slaves. The largest slave owner in Virginia was a black man. The “N” word si just one of a long line of “words” that were used then discarded over time. And being 66 years old I’ve heard it used constantly to this day in the black community. Its used a term of endearment as well as derogatory by the “old” folk

    I’m looking forward to following your site for good history and good food

    Like

    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      Hi Dave!
      Africans from different ethnic groups sold Africans from other ethnic groups. White and Black are really creations of the sidelines of the Old and New Worlds. Yes some African Americans did own others. Many times esp during the antebellum period–it was usually because of laws regarding Free Blacks and family life. Other times there were Black slaveholders. Most of them very very very mixed and what we call passing–but not all. I don’t besmirch you because of your views, but from my view of history its important to look at it as you put it–a changing set of rules, words, ideas and liberties.

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      • Dave's avatar

        Sorry for the lousy spelling. Spell checker took vacation. My only point as the grandfather of both black and Mexican mixed race grand kids I love as much as any o f the 26 others I have is that they know that all guilt is not on one “color” of people. That it is a mind set of people not the color of the skin. They are taught to judge people on who they are. And as you say its the changing set of rules and politics that cause the problems. I m sure the Chinese, Japanese and Irish (of which I am one) could howl just as loud, as we treated them no better. All of us have transgressed in the past. Proper people accept the responsibility of their errors and go on. Its not given for those who come afterwards to also pay the price continually.
        As i read history all colors have died in defense of others. Those are the people we should look up to. Today we have those like Clarence Thomas, Walter Williams, Col. West and Recently the good doctor from Boston and many more past and present. Those that could really be a real guiding light have their voices suppressed to keep a political agenda on track rather than lift a people up.

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    • connie's avatar

      And a sad note to this is that slavery based on race and social class continues to this day. I worked with a wonderful man who had personal stories of his slave trading uncles in Sudan – not exploited workers, but grabbed and sold humans. I live and work overseas, and have witnesses first hand how certain wealthier nations import labor from poorer nations… which should be a good thing for both, actually… but often the poor and uneducated laborers are terribly abused and exploited. We still have a lot of societal evolution to do.

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  11. Angela's avatar

    Beautifully written.
    As a North Carolinian, would love to see her attend this event. However, it would require true contrition and a level of humbleness I do not believe Paula Deen possesses.
    She believes she’s right, that’s the true shame. I am not mad she said it, I am hurt because she felt it was her right to continue to say it, and defended her abhorrent behavior/language.

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  12. Amanda Erickson's avatar

    I hope you will find it in your heart to extend the same tolerance to non-human animals. They are sentient beings who want to live, they are smart, they have a point of view, they love their children and friends, if they are allowed to. Please watch the film Earthlings and open your heart and mind. In love and peace.

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  13. Gale Torregrossa's avatar
    Gale Torregrossa

    Mazel Tov to Michael! I am Jewish and you are such a wonderful man, compassionate , confident and embracing the teaching of Torah and loving G_d. Thank you, Michael for being so clear and distinct about the proudness of one’s culture and ethnicity. I want an invitation, too! 🙂

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  14. carla b. long's avatar
    thejourneyisthelife

    I enjoyed your article and understand what you are communicating. Thanks for offering understand and not just sounding off.

    If there was/ is one thing I don’t agree with it is the following “I am not in agreement with esteemed journalist Bob Herbert who said “brothers shouldn’t use it either..” I think women have a right to the word “b….” gay men have a right to the word “queer” or “f…” and it’s up to people with oppressive histories to decide when and where the use of certain pejorative terms is appropriate.”

    I have just never understood the reasoning why some get a pass on using derogatory words and other don’t. I guess I’m live by the assumption that what is good for the goose is good for gander.

    However, I won’t dwell on this point because I believe it would then detract from the rest of your well written article.

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    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      Excellent point. The next ethical question is, What is good language? Can there be a standard/

      Like

      • Peter Fulmer's avatar
        Peter Fulmer

        There is no such thing as “good” language. All language is simply a collection of sounds used to convey a meaning or feeling. The issue becomes when one of those sounds creates a negative feeling, or conveys a negative sentiment. In our house they are “Rude” words, because saying “Fuck” or calling “Nigger” generates a bad feeling in those that hear them, and to my way of thinking, thats just like any other action we avoid in consideration of others. The ideas one may attempt to convey using rude words, may in fact be shameful, but don’t blame the messenger. Its just a sound, in our house we do not give them any more power than we choose to. We also teach our kids that consideration for others must always come before action/speech, and that poor behavior, spoken or otherwise, has consequences.

        Mr. Twitty, this is my first exposure to your wisdom, and I do enjoy it, as well as its beautiful expression. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience and perspective.

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    • Jim's avatar

      I agree! if no one says them, wont they eventually fade out of our language?

      Like

      • connie's avatar

        Words will probably last. They just do. But as we stomp out ignorance and hate, the bad attitudes will fade. It might take a couple of generations, but we’ll get there if we keep working at it.

        My grandparents, on both sides, north and south, were a product of the 1900-1950’s-ish. I think they would have been surprised to see the game my daughter was playing yesterday. It was one of the Sims PC games, where you create families and design your own characters. She designed a mom and dad. A baby. Two kids. A teen. And a grandma, and not a one in her simulated game family had the same color skin. To her, this was a totally natural thing to do (and we are a white family, not mixed race)… but just imagine how this ‘play’ would have been seen several decades ago? I can remember working in a department store in the 80’s and even then I saw white parents who refused to allow their kids to buy black dolls, and black parents who refused to allow their kids to buy white dolls. Kids were discouraged to even integrate their TOYS!

        This may seem like a very minor, very tiny, example… child’s play… but our children are our future and today’s kids are gradually learning to see multi-race, mutli-cuture, multi-religion as the ‘norm’. It’s slow, but I have faith that we’ll get there.

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    • amy's avatar

      I agree with you totally – going so far as to say “self-loathing” terms instead of derogatory. However, there are many opinions on that and Mrs. Deen, and they are all valid, because they are each persons truth.
      Also, just to point out, as perfectly as this piece addresses one aspect of what was in the deposition, she obviously knowingly allowed a harassment filled workplace – where the leaders were watching demeaning pornography in front of staff, using derogatory words, and otherwise using words, attitude and actions instead of whips and chains to let people know what status they were regarded as, and she was and is fine with that…”I can’t determine what offends another person.”
      I don’t hold it against Mrs. Deen for doing/saying things in the past she regrets (haven’t we all?) but she has not evolved and won’t – it is obvious she still feels she did nothing wrong.

      Like

  15. Darryl Moland's avatar

    You ARE awesome in every sense of the word, Michael! You’ve nailed the real issue. Southern food is firmly rooted in the rich culture of “Afroculinaria.” KUDOS to you for this eloquently rational response! You have a new biggest fan!

    Like

  16. Deb's avatar

    Lovely and thoughtful… a breath of fresh air in a room full of smoke…

    Like

  17. Kris G's avatar

    Bravo! Thank you for taking the time to write such an elegant and thoughtful response to the media circus surrounding Paula. I live in NC and will have to visit Stagville.

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  18. joemf's avatar

    wow….a cooler head prevails ! thanks.

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  19. ingrdo's avatar

    Well done, Michael! Well freakin’ done!

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  20. Anna's avatar

    Mr Twitty, I really enjoyed reading your article about Mrs. Deen. I too am southern…from the Deep South in fact, Mississippi, and agree with many of the points you made. I do support the statement that all of us are “a little bit” racist. Black, White, Jew, Methodist, etc…we are looking to belong and be a part of a community that has similar values, looks, and cultures. In the quest for this we are constantly judging others to see how they measure up to our visions of community members. So we have to in fact rate others as to how they measure up.

    I was fortunate enough to have wonderful southern parents who, although they were from “that generation” had the foresight to teach me that what defines a person is what is in their heart. I can remember my Daddy telling me from an early age, “get to know each person and then decide if you want them to be your friend”.

    But like many of the other people from the comments above we all knew those who used the n-word … some directed it at blacks; some used it as a means of joking between each other.

    I hope I am not alone when I make the next statement…. I do feel that when I look at comparison between 1975, when I was a child, and now I hear much less racists words of all kinds. I see much more acceptance of everyone…blacks, whites, Jews, and yes even Northerners! I think we are moving in the right direction. Either that or my head is very buried in the sand! I don’t believe racism will every completely go away.

    Although I’m not proud of what Paula said, I am proud that she stood up and admitted it instead of hiding behind lies that some image consultant could’ve concocted for her. I believe that if you’re over 25 and live in the south, you’ve probably said. yes..I’ve said it. i’m not sure if I would have the guts to own up to that except on an anonymous post on the internet.

    Bravo to Paula Deen for telling the truth, even if she hides behind her southern pride to do it. And Bravo to you Mr. Twitty for having the ability to see the entire history of the situation and so eloquently detailing it for the rest of us. Everyone can learn from this.

    Like

  21. Karen L. Utley Rose's avatar

    I just wanted to say that I didn’t know that barbeque was African American. And I’m really sorry I didn’t know that, and that I didn’t know a lot about the culinary history of African slaves in the south. I should have, and I am sincerely bothered that I didn’t know. Thanks for writing this, it’s good to have some ignorance lifted.

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    • MissyK's avatar

      It’s not. The Spanish, upon landing in the Caribbean, used the word barbacoa to refer to the natives’ method of slow-cooking meat over a wooden platform.

      Like

      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        That’s one reading and I am well aware of it. But here is the question…what meat? Agouti, caiman, manatee or large fish? Barbacoa and Babbake can best be understood as two pre industrial cooking methods that merged in areas where Natives and Africans exchanged culture.

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      • Valerie's avatar

        I thought Barbecue was a Taino word-Taino by way of the Arawaks?

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      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        It def could be..and you cannot give the etymology without them. But nobody looks to West and Central Africa where there is a very similar sounding word and very similar cooking methods. Besides Columbus and friends with their colds and smallpox didn’t exactly do a lot of recipe sharing when they were looking for cities of gold.

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      • Valerie's avatar

        Michael, I have another question for you, as a food historian: do you know when farmers were stolen away from their homes in Sierra Leone to be rice farmers off SC/Georgia? (Gullah?) Someone recently told me it wasn’t until the 18th century. Do you know if that’s so? It seemed to me it might have been much earlier?

        And P.S. what a wonderful service you’ve done here. Good on you. And you’re Jewish? Fabulous (I’m half & half Cuban-Catholic. Oy).

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      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        So yes and no 🙂 Africans from the Dande region of Angola and rice growers from Senegambia came first. There may have been some from a small rice growing corner of Ghana too….In 1739 the Stono Rebellion occurs, Angolans started it so nobody wanted them. Then from Sierra Leone and Liberia come the hardcore rice growers in the mid 18th century. The name Gullah may be from the word Angola or from the Gola people of the Rice Coast. I love your heritage! !!!!

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  22. Barbara Forbes-Lyons's avatar

    Thank you for this commentary (can I call it a d’var?). If you feel like heading even further South for the high holidays, you’ve got an open invitation at our table in Tallahassee and at our small, lay-led synagogue.

    Like

  23. tdalton@me.com's avatar
    tdalton@me.com

    Well said Michael,

    I respect your invitation to Paula, I hope she accepts.

    I’m a middle aged, Christian, white guy from the Midwest, married with 2 kids, but I bet spending a day together cooking we’d find out how similar we actually are.

    The world would be a better place if everyone confronted issues like this like you do.

    If you need an extra cook on Sept 7, I’m free.

    Like

  24. Patricia's avatar
    Patricia

    “No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” – Long Walk to Freedom by Nelson Mandela.
    I am white and was born in MS, and still live here. We are all human and equal in God’s eyes. Racism and hate is a learned behavior. I know from experience that it crosses all ethnic and racial lines. But with education and open discussion of these behaviors, maybe one day people will learn to respect each other for what is inside them and how they treat you. But we have to stop perpetuating the hate.
    “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.” Long Walk to Freedom.

    Like

  25. Dustin Thacker's avatar

    Excellent! Simply perfect.

    Like

  26. Roz's avatar

    Thank you for taking the time to craft a well thought out and well written piece. I cringe when certain words are used in rap music and otherwise. However, since I’m not a rapper, I don’t use rap terminology. Also, I note there are many acceptable terms of “endearment” people choose to use between and among themselves. I would be deeply offended if another woman chose to address my man with some pet word or term we use. In fact, I believe often people use many terms privately that would not and should not be used by others.

    Like

  27. Jackie Gordon Singing Chef's avatar

    Well done my intelligent, thoughtful and humorous friend. I welled up reading your piece.

    It is not easy being human, but the leveler is we all are. We all have our “good” and our “bad” thoughts and utterances. We can categorize them as our light and dark sides, but we can’t deny them or pretend that they don’t exist or they are not part of who we are no matter wherever we come from. We CAN choose how to react and act out of them. We get to choose to perpetuate love or not love with every thing we say and do. I think that’s what we are up to as humans — that’s our opportunity. Don’t deny it, don’t hide in shame, but choose love and widening your view with compassion and conversation and understanding.

    Your beautifully written piece sparked a conversation that begins with not pretending that we are not who we are and leads to making a choice about how do we want to show up in the world?

    I loved reading the comments and how you inspired a lot of thinking. I’m thrilled to call you my friend.

    BIG HUGS!!!

    Jackiie

    Like

  28. Alisa Boyd's avatar
    Alisa Boyd

    Beautiful piece! Yesterday I tried explaining to my mom what Paula Deen’s comments represented, but you have done it so much better than I ever could. Beyond that, I am quite interested in your Cooking Gene project. I will be following your posts and activities and thoughtful writings from now on. I’m so glad I got to know you a little bit today!

    Like

  29. AJ Henry's avatar
    AJ Henry

    Amazing job. I don’t know if Paula will be there but I am definitely making the trip…and I’m bringing my nephew. I loved your writing. It was thoughtful and explained the nuances of being Black in the South. I found myself “Amen-ing” throughout the entire piece. I’m not a cook, nor do I watch the cooking shows. But I know who Paula Dean is and I knew it would be a big deal to the media because its easy to point out the obvious. Of course she used the word. If we had a news station that only catered to southerners, that would not have been news. But what you did took time and patience, research and dedication. I appreciate your thoughtful discussion and explanation and wish you the best and more opportunities to share your words, thoughts and ideas with the world.
    Thank you for taking the time to educate all of us. Much success! You just got a new fan.
    -born and raised in Atlanta, GA

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  30. Monique's avatar

    Mr. Sir. That was spoken with such sincerity and heart. I felt like I was on a porch sipping Tea out of a mason jar being schooled and encouraged amongst the Greats. Well done my brother and I want to join you in Carolina in September to be filled even more.

    Thank you, I am sharing this with as many as I can.

    Mo

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  31. Vicki Kerns's avatar
    Vicki Kerns

    Michael, so glad I found this wonderfully written and succinct article from you. One word describes it: BRAVO! Thank you

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  32. Madame / Señora's avatar

    I am an almost 70-year-old retired teacher – white – Southern – Christian – woman (in no particular order), but early on learned from my dad (born in 1898 in a small southwestern Virginia town) that you just don’t use the word “nigger” because “it’s a bad word”. I never heard him use racial (or any other) slurs. I grew up in a segregated world. The only Negros, colored people, Blacks, African-Americans I knew were Henrietta (who came to clean our house), and Emily (who came to iron … and who, by the way, gave me a gentle and lasting lesson on saying “thank you”). I remember “colored” on water fountains in the two department stores in downtown Richmond, “Caucasian / Negroid” on school documents, those who sat at the back of the bus, and the 1955 closing of the only public swimming area because of integration.

    One of your commenters mentioned the song “You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught” (from South Pacific) … how appropriate. My aunt was a great example. When I was about 10, I was telling her something about a “… colored lady …”, and she said “no honey, you mean colored woman”. A seemingly insignificant correction, but such a huge implication. My mom explained it later when I questioned it (we’re all women, but how you conduct yourself makes you a lady).

    Collards, creasy greens (field cress), turnip salad, kale, mustard greens, fat back, souse (head cheese), scrapple, grits, pigs’ feet, ham steaks & red-eye gravy … umm. My dad grew greens in our back yard, my mom (a Baltimore native) even made souse meat (once)! I didn’t care about the history or origins of the bounty on our table then, now I can appreciate the sources. As an aside, and as a teacher of French and Spanish (I do hope I’m right in this) I believe tomatoes, peanuts and barbecue originated in the Americas – along with potatoes, cocoa, pineapple, chili peppers, vanilla, corn, squash, lima beans.

    Speaking of food (I always do), I cannot find information on the September 7 fundraiser dinner for Historic Stagville, Durham NC. Is it invitation only, or open to the public? At least I’ve found your blogs, and see so many cultural / historical events that unfortunately I’ve already missed.

    Terminology has changed (Negro, colored, Black, African-American) … maybe some day we can talk about people without race references, items like that Cheerios ad won’t create a stir, and people who call someone the “N word” – or the “A word”, “F word(s)”, “B word”, “H word”, “Q word”, “M word”, “P word”, “S word”, “any alphabet word” – will be considered ignorant, crude, or vulgar.

    Gentle lessons … family upbringing – as I said on my Facebook page about Leroy Butler “… his mom taught him to love everybody … what a lady. He was the one who tweeted “Congrats to Jason Collins” then was uninvited to speak about bullying to a church group. Too bad they didn’t have moms like his.”

    Thank you for your blog, I’ll be following.

    Like

  33. Jack Judge Valentine's avatar

    Well said Michael. I am a white southern male and I cook a great deal. It is my happy place, my stress relief. Although I am not formerly trained at some institute or culinary school. I was trained like so many in the south at the side of my Mother, Grandmother, Miss Mattie a very old and wonderful black lady who watched us while mom and dad worked. From them I “earned” everything I can cook by watching, doing, and helping them in the kitchen. Just like my teachers nothing is written down, and I don’t really measure anything its all by sight, smell, and taste. I learned to cook BBQ the same way. Starting as a young boy stacking wood, then tending the fire, turning the racks and so on.. My grandson is now 6yrs old and on the next whole hog I cook he will begin his education. While I have used the same word Miss Paula did and I would be a liar if I said I haven’t. All I can do is try to do better. I just hope that as I pass down the old southern cooking recipes I learned at the side of all the wonderful cooks in my life. That my grandsons and granddaughters learn that good food reaches beyond race and that No matter the color of the hands that prepare it good eats are good eats.

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  34. tuckahoems's avatar

    How could I have missed that huge tab “Dinner at Historic Stagville (Durham NC): Don’t Miss This: September 7, 2013”? Have it now – hope to see you there!

    Like

  35. Heather Tallman (@basilmomma)'s avatar

    This has, by far, been the most well written piece I have read thus far on this subject. You kept your cool, eloquently shared your thoughts and I finished reading with a sense of peace on the matter. I want everyone to read this.
    I would love to have you on my show some time Around the Kitchen Sink 🙂
    Heather Tallman
    Basilmomma.com

    Like

  36. Steven Clark's avatar
    Steven Clark

    What a beautiful unraveling of a media-beaten, oversimplified situation, and woven into the complex tapestry it really is. And I don’t mean a pretty tapestry, just one that hangs well on the very diverse walls of Americana.

    Like

  37. Kirk Gothier's avatar
    Kirk Gothier

    The level and quality of comments are almost as amazing as your open letter. Congrats, on the recognition. You’re a treasure!

    Like

  38. Corbie Mitleid's avatar

    It is only when we respond, rather than react, that anything has a chance to change. I was moved to tears and profoundly grateful that you refused to be part of the knee-jerk reaction and put time, thought and heart into this piece. I am not going to get into the minutiae about should-or-should-not-use-That-Word, culinary history, or any of the other pieces for dialogue that you discuss. I am simply responding to your generosity of heart, fearlessness of going against the media tide, and your clear belief that people can learn, grow and shift their thinking, if we will only talk TO each other instead of AT each other. A bow of respect and an ocean of thanks to you, Michael.

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  39. Jj Jackman's avatar

    Dude, you are welcome at my table any day…thank you.

    Like

  40. Carol Hotzert's's avatar
    Carol Hotzert's

    I love everything you said I only wish I could share it could send it to my face book and I will it made more sence then any one else thank you for being yourself

    Like

  41. Paula Kiger (Big Green Pen)'s avatar

    Well said. I wish she would accept that invitation (sans cameras ….. just the invitation and opportunity to learn/break bread). Here’s what I wrote about her/the “issues”: http://biggreenpen.com/2013/06/23/apply-another-coat-or-raze-the-building/

    Like

  42. Cheryl's avatar

    Grateful for you, your wisdom, and your vert good work, Cousin.

    Like

  43. Dawn Strawder's avatar
    Dawn Strawder

    Thank you! So much of what you said in this essay has been floating in my brain for awhile. Just brilliant!

    Like

  44. Kristine's avatar
    Kristine

    Love it! A jewish, black, gay man cooking, talking and writing about southern food! G-d love America, flaws and all!!

    Like

  45. Pingback: Paula Deen, Chris Rock, and The “N-word” | michaelwwoods

  46. Sue's avatar

    Timely given my recent trip, a first, to Charleston SC and then Greensboro NC. While I was struck by the architecture as you said, I couldn’t get past the fact that the guides didn’t ever acknowledge the slave backs this was built on or apologize for the wrong doing. It all just seemed so matter of fact.
    I grew up in Oregon and have come to begin to realize through Glenn Singleton’s Courageous Conversations about race how little I know about racism. In other words, I don’t know what I don’t know. Michael, I’d heard the quote, “better the Southern white man than the Northern one, because at least you know where he stands…” from an administrator who had moved to Portland from the South in one session i was in, and it gave me pause. Who me? I’m not racist. But what I learned is in Oregon racism is not overt like it is in the South, but it’s here. Oh yes. I am not proud of the history of racism in Oregon as I have learned about it; things I didn’t realize, or wasn’t taught, or saw as a child. However, one thing I knew and was taught by my parents and grandparents was to never, ever use “that word” no matter what.
    What I can do at this point is keep learning and doing my part to question racist comments and actions in the way you have done, and to make sure the whole story is told. I loved visiting the Carolina’s but came back with very mixed feelings about what to love. Michael, I truly appreciated your timely and even handed response to Ms Deen and the learning in it for all. I hope to return again in the fall.

    Like

  47. jaylynnphoenix's avatar
    jaylynnphoenix

    I have to applaud, this posting, it is Eloquent, Educational, Enlightening, and Heartrending, But Also Heartwarming, I truly hope that Paula Deen takes you up on the invitation to this Challenge! I live in Middle Tennessee and am marking my calender now for Sept 7th and hope I can attend! I would love to see what life was REALLY like and support family farmers!
    Many Blessings and Thank You for the Education!

    Like

  48. teezeetoo's avatar
    teezeetoo

    Humane, intelligent, and beautifully written. Thank you for giving us a nuanced and important perspective to “chew on” so to speak. I’m hoping to see at least as much outrage at the Voting Rights Act decision but I’m betting there’s more blowback on Ms. Deen than on SCOTUS.

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  49. Mark Matzeder's avatar

    This is brilliant: both compassionate and erudite. Thank you for teaching me new things so early of a morning!

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