An Open Letter to Paula Deen:

meinkitchen

Photo Courtesy of: Johnathan M. Lewis

Dear Paula Deen,

So it’s been a tough week for you… believe me you I know something about tough weeks being a beginning food writer and lowly culinary historian.  Of course honey, I’d kill for one of your worst days as I could rest myself on the lanai, the veranda, the portico (okay that was really tongue in cheek), the porch..whatever…as long as its breezy and mosquito-free.  First Food Network now Smithfield.  (Well not so mad about Smithfield—not the most ethical place to shill for, eh, Paula?)

I am currently engaged in a project I began in 2011 called The Cooking Gene Project—my goal to examine family and food history as the descendant of Africans, Europeans and Native Americans—enslaved people and enslavers—from Africa to America and from Slavery to Freedom.  You and I are both human, we are both Americans, we are both quite “healthily” built, and yet none of these labels is more profound for me than the fact we are both Southern.  Sweet tea runs in our blood, in fact is our blood…What I understand to be true, a lot of your critics don’t…which is, as Southerners our ancestors co-created the food and hospitality and manners which you were born to 66 years ago and I, thirty-six.  In the words of scholar Mechal Sobel, this was “a world they made together,” but beyond that, it is a world we make together.  So I speak to you as a fellow Southerner, a cousin if you will, not as a combatant.

To be part of the national surprise towards you saying the word “nigger” in the past (I am a cultural and culinary historian and so therefore I am using the word within context…) is at best naïve and at worst, an attempt to hide the pervasiveness of racism, specifically anti-Black racism in certain currents of American culture—not just Southern.  Take for example the completely un-Christian and inhuman rage at Cheerios for their simple and very American ad showing a beautiful biracial girl talking to her white mother and pouring cereal on the chest of her Black father.  That Cheerio’s had to shut down the comments section says that the idea of inter-human relationships outside of one’s color bracket is for many hiding behind a computer screen—a sign of the apocalypse.  So just like those old spaghetti sauce ads, yes, America, racism—“it’s in there” even when we were prefer it not be.

When you said, “of course,” I wasn’t flabbergasted, I was rather, relieved…In fact we Black Southerners have an underground saying, “better the Southern white man than the Northern one, because at least you know where he stands…” but Paula I knew what you meant, and I knew where you were coming from.  I’m not defending that or saying its right—because it’s that word—and the same racist venom that drove my grandparents into the Great Migration almost 70 years ago. I am not in agreement with esteemed journalist Bob Herbert who said “brothers shouldn’t use it either..” I think women have a right to the word “b….” gay men have a right to the word “queer” or “f…” and it’s up to people with oppressive histories to decide when and where the use of certain pejorative terms is appropriate.  Power in language is not a one way street.  Obviously I am not encouraging you to use the word further, but I am not going to hide behind ideals when the realities of our struggles with identity as a nation are clear.  No sound bite can begin to peel back the layers of this issue.

Some have said you are not a racist.  Sorry, I don’t believe that…I am more of the Avenue Q type—everybody’s—you guessed it—a little bit racist.  This is nothing to be proud of no more than we are proud of our other sins and foibles.  It’s something we should work against.  It takes a lifetime to unlearn taught prejudice or socially mandated racism or even get over strings of negative experiences we’ve had with groups outside of our own.  We have a really lousy language—and I don’t just mean because we took a Spanish and Portuguese word (negro) and turned into the most recognizable racial slur on earth…in any language…because we have a million and one ways to hate, disdain, prejudge, discriminate and yet we hide behind a few paltry words like racism, bigotry, prejudice when we damn well know that we have thousands of words for cars—because we LOVE cars….and food—because we LOVE food—and yet in this language you and I share, how we break down patterns of thought that lead to social discord like racism, are sorely lacking.  We are a cleaver people at hiding our obsessions with downgrading the other.

Problem two…I want you to understand that I am probably more angry about the cloud of smoke this fiasco has created for other issues surrounding race and Southern food.  To be real, you using the word “nigger” a few times in the past does nothing to destroy my world.  It may make me sigh for a few minutes in resentment and resignation, but I’m not shocked or wounded.  No victim here.  Systemic racism in the world of Southern food and public discourse not your past epithets are what really piss me off.  There is so much press and so much activity around Southern food and yet the diversity of people of color engaged in this art form and telling and teaching its history and giving it a future are often passed up or disregarded.  Gentrification in our cities, the lack of attention to Southern food deserts often inhabited by the non-elites that aren’t spoken about, the ignorance and ignoring of voices beyond a few token Black cooks/chefs or being called on to speak to our issues as an afterthought is what gets me mad. In the world of Southern food, we are lacking a diversity of voices and that does not just mean Black people—or Black perspectives!  We are surrounded by culinary injustice where some Southerners take credit for things that enslaved Africans and their descendants played key roles in innovating.  Barbecue, in my lifetime, may go the way of the Blues and the banjo….a relic of our culture that whisps away.  That tragedy rooted in the unwillingness to give African American barbecue masters and other cooks an equal chance at the platform is far more galling than you saying “nigger,” in childhood ignorance or emotional rage or social whimsy.

Culinary injustice is what you get where you go to plantation museums and enslaved Blacks are not even talked about, but called servants.  We are invisible.  Visitors come from all over to marvel at the architecture and wallpaper and windowpanes but forget the fact that many of those houses were built by enslaved African Americans or that the food that those plantations were renowned for came from Black men and Black women truly slaving away in the detached kitchens.  Imagine how I, a culinary historian and living history interpreter feel during some of these tours where my ancestors are literally annihilated and whisked away to the corners of those rooms, dying multiple deaths of anonymity and cultural amnesia.  I’m so tired of reading about how “okra” is an “African word.”(For land’s sake ya know “apple” isn’t a “European word…” its an English word that comes from German like okra comes from Igbo and Twi!) I am so tired of seeing people of African descent relegated to the tertiary status when even your pal Alton Brown has said, it was enslaved Black people cooking the food.  Culinary injustice is the annihilation of our food voices—past, present and foreseeable future—and nobody will talk about that like they are talking about you and the “n word.” For shame.

You see Paula, your grits may not be like mine, but one time I saw you make hoecakes on your show and I never heard tell of where them hoecakes really came from.  Now not to compare apples and oranges but when I was a boy it was a great pleasure to hear Nathalie Dupree talk about how beaten biscuits and country captain and gumbo started.    More often than not, she gave a nod to my ancestors.  Don’t forget that the Southern food you have been crowned the queen of was made into an art largely in the hands of enslaved cooks, some like the ones who prepared food on your ancestor’s Georgia plantation.  You, just like me cousin, stand squarely on what late playwright August Wilson called, “the self defining ground of the slave quarter.”  There and in the big house kitchen, Africa, Europe and Native America(s) melded and became a fluid genre of world cuisine known as Southern food.  Your barbecue is my West African babbake, your fried chicken, your red rice, your hoecake, your watermelon, your black eyed peas, your crowder peas, your muskmelon, your tomatoes, your peanuts, your hot peppers, your Brunswick stew and okra soup, benne, jambalaya, hoppin’ john, gumbo, stewed greens and fat meat—have inextricable ties to the plantation South and its often Black Majority coming from strong roots in West and Central Africa.

Don’t be fooled by the claims that Black people don’t watch you.  We’ve been watching you.  We all have opinions about you.  You were at one point sort of like our Bill Clinton. (You know the first Black president?)   When G. Garvin and the Neely’s and the elusive B Smith (who they LOVED to put on late on Saturday nights or early Sunday mornings!) were few and far between, you were our sorta soul mama, the white lady with the gadonkadonk and the sass and the signifying who gave us a taste of the Old Country-which is for us—the former Confederacy and just beyond.  Furthermore, as a male who practices an “alternative lifestyle” (and by the way I am using that phrase in bitter sarcastic irony), it goes without saying that many of my brothers have been you for Halloween, and you are right up there with Dolly Parton, Dixie Carter and Tallullah Bankhead of old as one of the muses of the Southern gay male imagination.  We don’t despise you, we don’t even think you made America fat.  We think you are a businesswoman who has made some mistakes, has character flaws like everybody else and in fact is now a scapegoat.  I find it hard to be significantly angry at you when during the last election the re-disenfranchisement of the Negro—like something from the time of W.E.B. Du Bois was a national cause celebre. Hell, today the voting rights act was gutted and I’m sure many think this is a serious win for “democracy.”  If  I want to be furious about something racial—well America—get real—we’ve had a good twelve years of really really rich material that the National media has set aside to talk about Paula Deen.  Yes Paula,  in light of all these things, you are the ultimate, consummate racist, and the one who made us fat, and the reason why American food sucks and ……you don’t believe that any more than I do. 

A fellow Georgian of yours once said that one day the “sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners would sit down at the table of brotherhood.”  Well no better time than now.  Paula, I don’t have to tell you redemption is yours to choose, to have and to embrace.  As a Jew, I extend the invitation to do teshuvah—which means to repent—but better—to return to a better state, a state of shalem–wholeness and shalom–peace.  You used food to rescue your life, your family and your destiny.  I admire that.  I know that I have not always made good choices and to be honest none of us are perfect.  This is an opportunity to grow and renew.

If there is anything The Cooking Gene has taught me—its about the art of reconciliation.  We aren’t happy with you right now.  Then again some of the things you have said or have been accused of saying aren’t surprising.  In so many ways, that’s the more unfortunate aspect.  We are resigned to believe and understand that our neighbor is to be suspected before respected.  It doesn’t have to be this way, and it doesn’t have to go on forever.  As a species we cannot conduct ourselves in this manner.  As creations of the Living G-d, we are commanded to be better.  You and I are both the descendants of people who lived, fought, died, suffered so that we could be better in our own time.  I’m disappointed but I’m not heartless.  And better yet, praise G-d I ain’t hopeless.

If you aren’t busy on September 7, and I surely doubt that you are not busy—I would like to invite you to a gathering at a historic antebellum North Carolina plantation.  We are doing a fundraiser dinner for Historic Stagville, a North Carolina Historic Site.  One of the largest in fact, much larger than the one owned by your great-grandfather’s in Georgia.  30,000 acres once upon a time with 900 enslaved African Americans working the land over time. They grew tobacco, corn, wheat and cotton.  I want you to walk the grounds with me, go into the cabins, and most of all I want you to help me cook.  Everything is being prepared using locally sourced food, half of which we hope will come from North Carolina’s African American farmers who so desperately need our support.  Everything will be cooked according to 19th century methods.  So September 7, 2013, if you’re brave enough, let’s bake bread and break bread together at Historic Stagville. This isn’t publicity this is opportunity.  Leave the cameras at home.  Don’t worry, it’s cool, nobody will harm you if you’re willing to walk to the Mourner’s Bench.  Better yet, I’ll be there right with you.

G-d Bless,

Culinary Historian, Food Writer and Living History Interpreter

Michael W. Twitty

For a link to a video of the event Paula missed:  click here.

For a link to the MAD Symposium video where I talk about culinary justice and injustice: click here.

998 comments on “An Open Letter to Paula Deen

  1. G,Silver's avatar
    G,Silver

    First of all well said, Micheal. As a Native American I find it assuming and sad, That using the N word get a person fired and become a outcast. When this country we still use names like Squaw, Redskin, Chiefs, Braves, Indians and so on. We are told that this is a honor to us. I live in a country full of Hypocrites

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    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      I am a Washingtonian and I hate the name redskins. Im part Creek and even if I wasn’t I would hate such terms.

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      • Jacqueline Forbes's avatar
        Jacqueline Forbes

        Wow, I’m a native Washingtonian also and despise the name Redskins as well. I get a lot of flack from fans when I say so. My parents are originally from SC and there’s some Gullah and Blackfoot in our tree.

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      • G,Silver's avatar
        G,Silver

        The point I’m trying to make is that the names still continue to be use. There is no public out cry. Yes I believe that a lot of people dislike these names. The fact is they are still in Native peoples face every day. At one point there were 40-60 millions Native people in this country. Now our numbers are small. We still live in places (Rez) where no one else would want to live. We have become shadow people, people of the past. We are cartoons Icons and so on, shadow people, A constant reminder of America Genocide and how this country was stolen. Shame is a very powerful emotion,it blinds people of there past. Are the Native American ( shadow people) ever going to be whole? Not until people see what really happen in this country to the first people ( shadow people). Yes the black have spread the truth about what happen to them. It was because of their numbers they were able to get the word out there. (at least that is my understanding). Native People numbers (shadow people) are small and their voice are not heard. Until the other minorities and good people realize that the First people (shadow people) of this country are still out in the cold. This country will still have blood on its hands. Yes this country has made great strides with other minorities, It is time for all the minorities to look back over there shoulder and see who has been left behind. The first peoples (shadow people) numbers are small, we need a larger voice so we can be heard and move forward in our country.
        Hoka Hey
        G. Silver

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    • Knox Banfield's avatar
      Knox Banfield

      I don’t think any of those names were meant as an insult. Why would they name a “team” an insulting name? It’s counter productive. This is a perfect example of how society has changed over the years. A one time the N-word was acceptable. Like Redskin, it was a “reference” word. It referred to a specific “type” of people, not necessarily a race. Whether it was meant in the positive or negative, it was still a reference word.

      The word “Wop” is considered a racial slur toward Italian-Americans… what it really meant was “With Out Papers” or “With Out Passport”. In other words, an illegal immigrant. Again, it was used to reference a “specific type” of person, not an entire race or nationality.

      We seems to pick and choose when and why a word becomes a slur.

      The N-word is part of our living history. You cannot hide from it, or banish it, you can only learn from it.

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  2. Quagmire's avatar
    Quagmire

    As he said, everyone is racist to some degree… If you say you are not, you are lying.

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  3. christine vuksanaj's avatar
    christine vuksanaj

    wonderful, wonderful! I have been thinking along these lines since all this Deen controversy has hit. You put it so eloquently. God bless you…and carry on!!

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  4. Jacqueline Forbes's avatar
    Jacqueline Forbes

    Thank you for so artistically wrapping this up. If your cooking is anything like your writing, then I’d have to blame you for making me fat! LOL! I am hoping to get the opportunity to attend the event in Stagville just to have the experience. I moved from Durham and Timberlake, NC just last July and never realized the plantation was that large, as Durham itself doesn’t seem to be but so large. Nonetheless, thanks again for such a great piece.

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  5. Wendy (The Weekend Gourmet)'s avatar

    I am blown away by this post…and I really dig your blog. Can’t wait to follow along and read more of your writings. I’m a huge history buff, so I’m glad to learn more from you!!

    Like

  6. Danny's avatar

    Wow, what a surprise to see this on my news feed! I couldn’t agree more with what you’ve said here. I feel that Paula Deen will have a chance to learn from this and I do hope to see her make a come-back… perhaps a little wiser.

    Like

  7. oscar parrish's avatar
    oscar parrish

    this “your expression”was was a true feather in your cap and at a proper place in time, children of any color know” if it doesn’t taste right spit it out”.
    we have a long row to hoe ,corporations leave only the good option of joining hands to save our mother earth.
    best we do that

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  8. Knox Banfield's avatar
    Knox Banfield

    I despise Paula Deen. There I said it. Not because of what she said, but what she promotes … unhealthy living. In a society plagued with obesity and diabetes she only serves as a vessel to encourage and promote it. She should be showing how to creating stunning Southern dishes in a healthy manner.

    As for the N-word issue. We all grew up with the children’s rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We have long forgotten this, because today’s society is so flaccid that “words” do hurt them. We breeded a society is social weaklings.

    No matter what the racial slur … it’s just a word. Look at the source, not the word. I’m sure every executive from every company that marred her has used that word. The word is part of history. It’s part of some of our upbringings. Everything needs to be put into perspective, and not placed on a completely level playing field. A person in New York, on a board of directors using the N-word, is not using it in the same manner as a Southerner who was brought up in a different way.

    We look for equality in all, but the truth is be can and will never be equal … because if we are, then we lose our heritage and individuality.

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  9. Sylvia's avatar

    Michael, What a wonderful letter. When I saw the Cheerios ad, what popped into my head was: ‘That is NOT a healthy food’. I didn’t know there was any uproar about it until @ week or so ago. Which I am still trying to figure out why? It was a cute kid, a nice story line, no one doing anything stupid, hateful, or ugly, (I just didn’t agree about it being healthy.) I guess I have been in my own little world, with all the inter-racial marriages and “alternative” lifestyles, I find it hard to fathom that others have such issues, especially so many. I guess we all are products of our environments. I am an old army brat. I grew up with friends of mixed heritage back in the 60s, I am of mixed heritage, though I look very white. My family is full of inter-racial marriages. can you imagine the variety of foods we have, when we are all together? Heaven! I learned at a very young age, good&bad come from all races and all walks of life. It’s what’s on the inside that matters.

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  10. patriciagay's avatar

    Beautifully written Mr. Twitty. I’ve suggested Paula take you up on your generous invitation. It could be a great learning lesson for all all Americans. https://patriciagay.wordpress.com/2013/06/30/paula-deen-a-recipe-for-redemption/

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  11. Billy Todd's avatar

    Thanks for writing this Michael. It is a difficult subject to address directly while maintaining sympathy and you do it eloquently and have inspired a great ongoing conversation with a lot of people Food is the great bridge builder, as a way to come together in understanding that reaches beyond rhetoric and espoused philosophies, giving insight into and allowing us to claim our full inheritance of all the facets of our combined culture. I will be enjoying reading your other posts as well as those to come 😉

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  12. gwenever's avatar
    gwenever

    Thank you very much for your article! I unexpectedly discovered a family connection with the Stagville Plantation and am fascinated by your endeavors there. Very interested in your event on September 7.

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  13. Jeni's avatar

    Wow Michael…you so eloquently got to the core of the issue. You nailed it with grace, intelligence, context, and consciousness. That came from a high place within you, one you no doubt have worked hard to develop. Thank you for the inspiration and example.

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  15. Valerie's avatar

    All the very best to you, kind sir.

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  16. Jan Meier's avatar
    Jan Meier

    Beautifully written piece. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in such an informative, thought provoking and eloquent manner.

    Like

  17. Paula Merrill Belak's avatar
    Paula Merrill Belak

    Dear Michael, What an amazing letter you have written. I already feel I know you, because you spoke so truthfully about this very complicated discussion filled with deep pain and joy and our shared and flawed humanity. You put words to the great debate raging in my head. Thank you! I am a granddaughter of a poor, but proud white couple who raised their five children to respect and honor everyone, if they were “good folks.” I was raised in the West, but had the wonderful fortune to spend time with my grandparents, aunts, and cousins growing up. To my delight, food and the preparation of it was elevated to a religion. The women who came early every morning to help my grandmother prepare the offering were the high priestess in her home. They loved my grandma and she loved them as friends who had shared life for decades. It was so upsetting and scary when I heard hateful comments from others, sometimes spoken in front of my beloved grandma. I don’t remember her ever protesting to the person’s face. I realized as I grew, that she lacked courage to stand and be counted. Flawed like all of us.

    When I went to bookmark your blog, I paused. Should I save it under “Cooking and Recipes?” “Writing and Literature?” “Current Affairs?” I have filed you under “Spiritual.”

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    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      Spiritual works for me 🙂

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    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      I read this three times

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      • Paula Merrill Belak's avatar
        Paula Merrill Belak

        Dear Michael, I am so pleased you found something in my post that gave you pause. I believe that, just like my sainted grandmother, many whites in the South were afraid to stand up for their neighbors and friends whom they loved and were black. I’m sure there are many who still fear and lack courage to protest. Folks who still struggle and suffer under the weight of ignorance all around the world. Please G d forgive us all. The hurters and the hurt, the strong and the weak, we are all from one mother and one father. Our family needs to heal.

        On a lighter note, after reading some of your other wonderful posts I was in a fixin mood. I made my grandmother’s cornbread, crumbled some of that deliciousness into a tall glass of cold buttermilk and added just a few grinds of cracked black pepper. Ate it all up in celebration of You and my Grandma. She would have loved you! i will be your devoted fan for life. Thank you and G d bless!

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      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        My grandmother used to that too!! In a glass no doubt. I never heard about the black pepper part though 🙂 love that. Thank you for a heartfelt letter. Yet another special soul!

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      • Paula Belak's avatar
        Paula Belak

        I love to hear that your grandmother and your father both loved that particular dish!

        I remember one had to use a ice tea spoon to reach all the way to the bottom of the glass. Do you know any history about that dish? My grandmother lived in Mansfield, LA., just outside of Shreveport, but it seems to have been popular all across the South.

        My other favorite dish of Grandma’s (or Big Mama as she was called once she became a great-grandmother) was her chow-chow. Oh my. It went with all of her homegrown vegetables and home raised hams and chickens, everything on her bountiful table that wasn’t a dessert, even though a few of the devotees tried that too!

        It has always been my dream to market her chow-chow. Grandma would have been so embarrassed, but secretly pleased as punch.

        The memories keep flooding back. Sitting on the front porch, early morning, still cool, big basket full of fresh picked peas, the “snap” when you opened them up and the anticipation as you watched those tender sweet peas fall into the waiting pot. 1:00 P.M. supper couldn’t come soon enough.

        Thank you for letting me share all of these old memories with you and, of course, for your now famous “Open Letter to Paula Dean” that so touched my heart and mind.

        You will hear from me again. Now that I have found you, I will love following you through your journey!

        Bless you Michael W. Twitty, a man with courage.

        With Fondest Regards,

        Paula

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      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        Thank you Paula…those fresh peas have me hungry!!!

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      • Shea Huey's avatar
        Shea Huey

        Cornbread and buttermilk was my Daddy’s chicken soup.

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      • Paula Belak's avatar
        Paula Belak

        Shea,

        Aren’t we lucky to have such special memories?

        Paula

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      • Shea Huey's avatar
        Shea Huey

        Yea, we are. Thanks for reminding me to savor it.

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  18. Katie's avatar

    Michael…
    What can I say. You rock. the end…. ♥

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  19. Paula Crabtree's avatar
    Paula Crabtree

    Let those without sin cast the first stone. Everyone has done something their not proud of at least she has the courage to admit it and it does not make her a bad person.

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  20. Bill Olds's avatar
    Bill Olds

    Michael,
    Your thoughts and words are profound and eloquent and you have hit the nail squarely on the head. As a gay man I own that “f..” word and that “q….” word. As a human being with all the character defects that come with it I own that I have used racial slurs in the past (I try my best not to do that anymore). Anyone who claims to be pure of thought and word in this area is only fooling oneself.
    I try to do the next right thing whenever I can (failing as often as not) and I would be willing to bet that Paula Deen does as well. It must be very hard to live in the public eye and be held to a near impossible standard. I doubt very seriously that I could.

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  21. wkmtca's avatar

    i got into a big deal on facebook when i said it is few and far between to find white folks over 50 who have not said the ‘n’ word even if it was just eeny, meany, miney, moe.. omg.. everyone insisted they NEVER IN THEIR LIFE SAID SUCH THINGS.. to which i say BULLSHIT.. don’t deny what you said..just don’t continue to be THAT person.. grow, change..become a better person.. know your faults..

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  22. Piper's avatar

    As a 52 year old woman from Paula’s hometown of Albany, Ga., thank you for your words. Paula is front and center on every channel’s newscast, everyday. I don’t know what the “new” Paula Deen, the one that emerges on the other side of this firestorm, will look like. My prayers are with her, and with you. I do hope she joins you in September.

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  23. Kate Newland's avatar

    What a wonderful piece. I grew up in the Virgin Islands where I was the WHITE girl. But food, blessed food, brought us all together. Whole spit roasted goat rubbed with lime and cracked pepper, Sweet potatoe stuffin, which wasn’t sweet or a sweet potato at all, but white potatoes doctored up with raisins and hot sauce and . . . Had I been a bit older there would have been rum punches made with rum distilled on our island. I could go on and on, but I miss my Cruzan days, and am grateful that a few people took the time to put the recipes on paper so that I can hold them near to me. So now imagine my little “white” boys in southern Michigan thinking that roast leg of goat means Thanksgiving, even down to the rearing, feeding, and slaughtering of the goat. To this day they think that. Thank you for taking the time to do your work. Thank you for your thoughtful response to this issue – just thank you.

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  24. Zohar's avatar

    That’s all well and good but why was the O left out of GOD? Reconciliation. Forgiveness. Martin Luther King Jr. The Bible Belt states. But no O in God? C’mon. I’m from the south too and maybe you need to come visit my church.

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  25. PattyM's avatar

    I’m a white Southern woman born in Alabama and a resident of Mississippi for the past 23 years. I consider “that” word the most vile word that can be spit like a toxin. She shouldn’t have said it. Period.

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  26. Shannon's avatar

    Wonderfully and eloquently said! I am a white lesbian who grew up in the South. My papaw dropped the N word practically every single day of my childhood….until one moved in next door to him. He grew to respect his neighbor through the years and they even became friends (though my papaw may never have admitted it). The neighbor even helped look after my grandma after papaw died. Your words are beautifully written. I think things are getting better with every generation. My mom would always shake her head when my papaw said the N word. I’ve never said it. And I am not even sure my little children going to an interracial school in Minneapolis would even know the word. I have to believe the world is getting better and people as eloquent as you are certainly helping!

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  27. Amanda Buffin's avatar

    This is one the best responses I have heard so far and I learned something from you

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  28. Michaela's avatar

    Fabulous article Michael. Your perspective is so valuable right now.

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  29. Toni's avatar

    Please read what she ACTUALLY said and did before defending her in any way:
    http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/06/entertainment/deen-deposition/

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  30. Gregory Anne Cox's avatar

    Michael, I’m not sure who directed me to your pages but I owe them a debt of gratitude. You write like anything but a “beginner writer” and I will read more but wanted to stop and take a moment to say “thank you” for your lucid, thought provoking, kind with a splash of “get real” thoughts on so many things, not least, Paula Deen. Inviting her to that plantation fundraising celebration of the people who cooked and created the foods we all take for granted in origin is bold, gracious, and I wish to heaven she’d accept. If there is room at the table for others I’d love to support it and learn a wee bit about a history I am embarrassingly ingnorant of considering I cooked professionally for 27 years and all of my southern recipes come from books written by whites with the exception of Edna Lewis.
    I look forward to more of your writing and will share this piece as many places as I can think to–it deserves to be heard.

    Like

  31. Kitty Lapin Agile's avatar
    Kitty Lapin Agile

    Also I learned to make Maryland biscuits and crab stew and the best bread and butter pickles from Hattie, a lovely strong black woman, that learned from her grandmother. These were her gift to me, sharing her heritage…and I made sure my daughters when learning these recipes knew where they came from. Paula never seemed to mention who kept these recipes alive.

    Like

  32. Kaloma's avatar

    Your words touched my heart. Thank you so much for this teaching on integrity, respect and forgiveness.
    As for the “Why leave out the O in G-D?” crowd — let them stew in their misdirected outrage for a bit. You’ve already done a superhero’s job today! Relieve them of their ignorance tomorrow. 🙂

    Like

  33. Debbi's avatar

    Thank you MichaelI and I sure hope Paula will come to your event in September. God Bless you and God Bless Paula, we so desperately need to get out of this rut. The lady asked to be forgiven, a true Christian forgives. Debbi L.

    Like

  34. ABartson's avatar
    ABartson

    You made a lot of white people happy with your post. Congratulations?

    Like

    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      What does that really mean? Tell me what you mean by that comment and I can give you an appropriate response. Thanks.

      Like

      • Tinkdnuos's avatar
        Tinkdnuos

        I can’t speak for anyone else, but since I’m feeling something similar, I’ll tell you what I think s/he might mean.

        Many white people in America hold a lot of racist beliefs about which they’re entirely ignorant. They mean no harm and feel no hatred or animus, but they truly believe, whether they admit it or not, that e.g. there are “good” black people and “bad” black people (and if they saw 10 mins of Chris Rock out of context they’ve decided that’s what “n_gger” really means), or that black people who experience the ongoing daily effects of legally imposed American white supremacy are just bitter for reacting, and don’t really have it as bad as the poor white man who didn’t get some job somewhere (never mind that the black man who got the job was legitimately more qualified).

        That is, as I’m sure you’re aware, MOST racism in America these days is of the clueless “colorblind” variety that assumes “everyone started at zero at birth and has achieved only what they’ve earned on merit, so if black people in America are disproportionately impoverished, there must be something wrong with them.”

        And there are other kinds of clueless and well-meaning racists out there of course. There’s my white gay friend who thinks black guys are soooo hot, but who also thinks blackface performers are sooooo funny, and black people who get upset about Shirley Q. Liquor are whiners, homophobes, or “racist against white people because the something something Wayans brothers something something.”

        People like that, Michael, as I’m sure you know, absolutely LOVE when they can find a single black voice saying something that makes them feel like they’re right, black people who don’t automatically, reflexively forgive racism “are just bitter and mean people”, and that being accused of racism is a FAR worse offense than engaging in patterns of racist behavior as long as they convince themselves they meant well.

        And for the last few days, Michael, those are the people who’ve been posting your letter in my facebook feed, not as an introductory lesson on how white supremacy is so pervasive as to make them ignorant themselves of basic American history (which was my favorite part of your letter), but as something with which to CHASTISE any black person on their list, or out in the world, who’s not eager to forgive Paula Deen or any other racists, and who (quite rightfully) care LESS about the feelings of “the accused” than they do about her alleged victims.

        In other words, a lot of white racists, the kind who think they’re NOT racist as long as they’re not burning crosses, reposted your letter to reinforce their belief that it’s more important to forgive a white person’s dehumanizing behavior than it is to treat a black person as a human being.

        I believe your intentions were different. But like everything else ever created by a black person in America, white people got their hands on it and contorted it to serve their own agenda.

        I’m white too. I just don’t support these people and their pathological mentality.

        Like

  35. Beverly Allen-Plummer's avatar
    Beverly Allen-Plummer

    Thank you!! I wish I could express myself with such clarity and grace .

    Like

  36. Ronnie Podolefsky's avatar
    Ronnie Podolefsky

    Dear readers,
    If you have not read the lawsuit against Paula Deen, PLEASE, take a moment. Lisa Jackson v Paula Deen et al:

    Click to access Jackson-v.-Deen-et-al.-Complaint.pdf

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Dear Michael,
    You wrote your “letter to Paula Deen” apparently without having read the lawsuit against her. I then suggested you read it. Despite this, it appears from the more recent reader comments that your letter continues to give readers the false impression that Paula Deen is accused of using the n_____ word thirty years ago and little else. Well-meaning readers continue to post their heartfelt forgiveness to Deen. Many may regret having done so prematurely and even feel a bit foolish after reading the shocking conduct Lisa Jackson’s lawsuit alleges Deen subjected her and numerous Black employees to for five years.

    Just my two cents.

    Like

    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      Hi Ronnie! The key word is alleges…I really appreciate your voice however I will leave those comments to you. My blog isn’t a courtroom. In fact several established writers have applauded my restriction of the discussion to the media hype. The allegations are serious and painful but the proceedings should be adjudicated in their due course.

      Like

      • Kimberley McGill's avatar

        I agree that this is not a courtroom and we should withhold our judgement until the proceedings reveal facts one way or another. However, perhaps we should do well to withold our judgements about what should happen next, or our judgements about whether or not she is the kind of person who would respond well to our open arms. I can forgive whether it’s all true or not. In my Buddhist tradition we place great importance on compassion and loving kindness, but we also know there’s a kind of compassion that we label as misguided. It doesn’t mean we don’t have compassion, but we mindfully approach the subject of our compassion with our eyes wide open – and in some cases that would mean knowing as many of the facts as possible. For me, I feel I simply don’t know enough of the facts yet to feel comfortable with the idea Paula Deen doing anything in the name of improving race relations. If the allegations begin to sound true as the proceedings unfold, we might see that Paula Deen lacks integrity. And if that is so, I think she would need to work on that before doing anything to improve race relations or work for women’s rights.
        That said, I think you’ve demonstrated great courage. And your recipes and historical information just plain rock!

        Like

      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        This is the dialogue I want!

        Like

  37. Dennis D'Asaro's avatar

    Bravo! Hope you and Paula meet in Sept.

    Like

  38. Lewis Finch's avatar
    Lewis Finch

    The next time I eat a baked potato. I’ll be sure to spend hours with my family regaling them with stories of my Irish heritage and the part that potato played in it! Nah…I’m just fuckin’ with you! I’m just going to eat the potato! Self-indulgent idiot!

    Like

  39. Billy's avatar

    Beautifully, thoughtfully done! You sir are a credit to your race and your profession!

    Like

  40. d2hubble's avatar

    Looks like another South Park Episode is on it’s way.

    Like

  41. Susan S's avatar
    Susan S

    This is an incredible letter, Mr. Twitty. Paula Deen aside, it reminded me once again just where much of my culinary legacy stems from. I’m Okie, born and bred, with a mother from SW Missouri (south of Joplin) and an Okie father who spent much of his childhood in NW Louisiana (north of Shreveport). Hence, I grew up with Southern food. Ethnically, on my mother’s side, I’m Scots-Irish, Alsatian/French, English, and (probably) Cherokee (possibly Choctaw); on my father’s side, I’m German, Dutch, and possibly African-American via runaway slaves or freedmen working as riverboat pilots, which is what my paternal grandmother’s family did for at least a century. Mind, you’d never know to look at me I’m anything but White, but when I can afford it, I want to get a DNA analysis to see what my heritage really is. I find irony in some of my mother’s ancestors being slaveholders, and my father’s possibly being Black, though I’m sure I’m not alone in this situation.

    While I love and cook world cuisine, I learned to cook with Southern recipes, and alongside Southern women. I learned to make beans, cornbread, greens, all kinds of vegetables, how to bread and fry green tomatoes, and how to make a meal in the heat of summer without turning the house into a furnace. Before I became pescetarian, I learned to cook chicken with buttermilk, though I refused to touch catfish, and my sisters still think I’m strange for not knowing how to cook it properly. When I was 12, I helped my mom compile a book of family recipes; I’d say 80% are Southern, and the remaining 20% have been corrupted to Southern-ish over the years.

    However, I was a young adult before I really learned the slave history behind all of the foods I’d learned to make as a kid. Once I did, I was actually shocked away from Southern food for a while–love it or not, it’s still a dark and disturbing era of history. When I got over my shock, though, I started reading and listening wherever I could. African-American food culture fascinates me, and two things I picked up early on will stick with me forever: a cookbook and autobiography I got as a teenager called Cleora’s Kitchens, by Cleora Butler, a professional cook in Tulsa for most of the 20th Century; and a quote from an acquaintance that a barbecue place wasn’t good unless it had “grape Shasta in a can and a brother on the grill.”

    That quote is what your letter reminded me of first, your fear that real barbecue would vanish in your lifetime. It seems like every barbecue competition I see on TV is dominated by White people, coming up with concoctions nothing like the barbecue I grew up eating, which usually involved a can of fruity soda and a Black guy at the grill, who smiled and waved at everyone who walked in, and clearly loved the art and process of turning meat into beauty. Most of the barbecue places around here now have gone the spruced-up way, too. It’s been gentrified. And just like Paula Deen never mentioned where hoecakes came from, I worry that the past will get swept beneath the rug. Sanitized for White consumption.

    I don’t want things sanitized. History is dirty and messy and needs to be remembered so the worst doesn’t happen again. I know this is long, but it’s what I took from your letter. Probably not what you intended, but I am not and have never been what anyone’s ever intended.

    Like

    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      I love this! And I love Cleora’s cookbook. .she was right up there with Edna Lewis. Besides that thank you for getting it, testifying and making my day. I may reprint this.

      Like

      • Susan S's avatar
        Susan S

        I wish I’d been able to meet Mrs. Butler. Unfortunately, I was born just a little bit too late–1977. As it stands, there are a million questions I wish I could have asked her, most of them while standing over a mixer, an oven, or a stove.

        Close to the top of the list, though, is that I wish I could have gotten her perspective on the months following the Tulsa Race Riot. That was the only big thing her autobiography really left out. I understand it was a painful, horrific time that people were encouraged to keep quiet about. (IIRC, she lived north of the Greenwood District, and wasn’t directly affected by the riot itself.) She had such a high standing with her employers that I’ve wondered for years how it affected her experiences in 1921 and 1922, as well as her husband’s and family’s. How much loyalty from her employers did the quality of Cleora’s cooking afford in that kind of sociopolitical climate, and how did that translate to safety from both racist Whites and the law?

        Glad to have made your day! =) Feel free to reprint. It would be an honor!

        Like

      • michaelwtwitty's avatar

        I never thought about that part…I’m sure you’re aware John Hope Franklin’s family also endured the pogrom. Speaking of food there was a really profound short film that was on HBO many years ago where a woman poisoned herself rather than get lynched.The place:Tulsa, 1921.

        Like

      • Susan S's avatar
        Susan S

        No, I hadn’t realized he and his family were part of it! Wow, now I wish I’d been able to attend his lectures when he came here to accept the Helmerich Award in ’97. (I was in school and working at the time, and seldom had time off for anything unless I got sick.) I’ll have to read his autobiography when I have an opportunity.

        I wonder if the Tulsa Library or the Greenwood Cultural Center could help me track down that film? Do you remember the title, by chance?

        Like

    • Heather Vaughan's avatar

      Oh Susan Thank you for mentioning Cleora’s Kitchens. We have that book and love it! Raised north of Joplin Missouri about 60 miles been in OKC for the last 20 years. I enjoyed your post.

      Like

  42. Karin Miltsch's avatar
    Karin Miltsch

    Thank you for your incredibly well written article. Your words are thought-provoking and engaged so many readers who shared interesting reactions and perspectives. I have always cringed upon hearing “that” word and other derogatory terms describing human beings. It especially pains me to see the idolatry bestowed by our youth on hip-hop “artists” who use that same word in their lyrics, along with demeaning and sometimes filthy language about violence in general, or aimed against women, or a specific race. I don’t see the big stores rushing to pull the offensive material off the shelves. That genre is so destructive to the developing minds of a most vulnerable group: our kids and the future generation. This “music” perpetuates racism, too.

    Like

  43. Squeaky Wheel's avatar

    You are an amazing human being. Thank you for putting so eloquently what I was thinking, but couldn’t rightly say (I live in Memphis, TN – race relations here aren’t exactly the best, and speaking of this sort of debacle as anything other than blatant racism is looked upon as piling on yet more racism, which I find unfortunate). Actions, not words, are what make a person. Mrs. Deen’s done some questionable things in her time, but something she said over 2 decades ago, when the language she used was commonplace in my town as a “fair descriptive,” is no reason to condemn her entirely. She apologized, and I hope she takes you up on your offer – I would love nothing more than to see the results of that culinary union.

    Like

  44. Leslie MacDill's avatar
    Leslie MacDill

    Mr. Twitty, first a personal question. Just how many strikes do you have to have against you before you even step up to the plate? Okay, that’s out of the way. You’re a personal hero of mine since your appearance on Andrew Zimmern’s show. Such a spirit!

    You’re a man of courage and generosity. Your open letter was heart-felt and compassionate. And while I applaud you mightily, I cannot completely agree with you. I too was raised in the South, albeit by parents from the other side of the Mason-Dixon who just happened to be in the military – where the one thing that separated one person from another was rank. I never even heard the word that Ms. Deen uttered until my father retired and we moved to north Florida. Then it seemed like everyone around me was trying to make up for lost time, because it was the ’60s and desegregation was in full swing. But every time I heard that word it was in a derogatory, if not openly hateful, manner. I understood what it was – hate – and it wasn’t anything I wanted to be a part of. One of my best friends all through high school was black (no one had come with with the term African-American in the public lexicon yet), and I got calls at my home from people who were fond of wearing their bed-clothes, threatening my life for hanging out with George and his white girlfriend. Later, when I visited my girlfriend, an FSU student, in Tallahassee, we went to the coolest club in town to dance. We were the only two white kids there, and you could hear a pin drop when we entered, but her friend and the young lady’s boyfriend (both black) took us both out onto the dancefloor, and the tension went away almost immediately because there was mutual respect. Not hate.

    Sir, Ms. Deen’s sin was not to utter the word a few times in her youth. No one would have blinked an eye over that, given the times. It was to carry that racism and bigotry into the present, into her business, and into the public. Dressing servers up as slaves? Are you kidding me? I admire you for extending the olive branch. However, I would be wary of a disingenuous mea culpa a la cotillion-speak.

    This nation does not need any more help from Ms. Deen sliding back into the past – it already has the GOP. Racism, regardless of origin, cannot be tolerated by the public or the private sector if we are to continue moving forward.

    Respectfully,
    Leslie MacDill

    Like

    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      Hey Leslie…I get it! But guess what..Who better to show her why those little plantation fantasies are off the chain than a seasoned Black interpreter who teaches about slavery? Let me make this clear…because I want everybody to get this part…I know its not just about the word nigger. It’s about willful ignorance, tolerated harassment and abuses and a ladida or should we say fidddle dee dee attitude..that’s why I want to show her the plantation through my eyes..our eyes. No better place. SO I FEEL YOU TRUST ME
      🙂 hugs!! I’m just using what I know to try to bring some folks into 2013. 🙂

      Like

      • Judy B.'s avatar
        Judy B.

        Regarding the “it already has the GOP” comment made by Leslie – why is it okay to lump an entire party into one mindset? I loved your letter to Paula and I’ve been enjoying the comments but that type of comment should be studied also. I’m a conservative/libertarian type of person and don’t feel that I’m a racist or “sliding back into the past.” Anyway, thanks Mr. Twitty for a lovely response to this mess.

        Like

    • Ronnie Podolefsky's avatar
      Ronnie Podolefsky

      Well stated, Leslie. Thank you!

      Like

  45. Shea Huey's avatar
    Shea Huey

    Thank you for your eloquent letter.

    Like

  46. JOI's avatar

    I visited Stone Mountain Park in GA in the 90s. There was a European family on our tour of the plantation. I was struck by the fact that this family completed that entire tour and still had no clue of the 300 years of oppression of my people. It was a slap in the face as servant was substitutes for slave and we were asked to admire the formal “sitting room” and “courting room” and the fine cutlery on this plantation, but not to recognize the very people who worked and built that place and gave that free labor- making that extravagant Southern lifestyle (and pocketbook) possible. I was just a kid, but I felt the disrespect to my core. It was the biggest history lesson I had to date. The N word is simply the tip of a much more insidious iceberg. I appreciate that this brother has placed the real issue front and center and hope Paula Deen takes this history lesson and invitation to heart.

    Like

    • michaelwtwitty's avatar

      Yes!!!!! Lets put this in perspective. One of the most beautiful churches in the world is Notre Dame. However as I entered the church I noticed the statute representing Judaism and the Jewish people as blinded, broken and bowed…I know some people will read our honest feelings about such things and say get over it or any other nullifying statement. What if someone tried to argue that we should remove historical markers from Boston, Lexington and Concord or Pearl Harbor? Forget it…get over it..move on..you see seeing yourself as American is what causes all your problems…SOUNDS RIDICULOUS RIGHT? WELL THAT’S WHAT WE HEAR ALL THE TIME!!! Give it up, forget, nullify yourself, bc trust me we know what’s better for you… If anybody said that to Americans.and they have…most people would be up in arms, but as a member of a historically oppresed minority..you’re expected to take that blather…nuff said, thank you cousin!

      Like

  47. Leigh's avatar

    Yasher koach!!

    Like

  48. lrich's avatar

    A wonderful and eloquent perspective…but I ask you, what about the enslavement of the animals for that barbecue you deign so necessary to our culture?

    Like

  49. Pingback: Vik’s Picks: English Caviar Is for the Masses | FirstWeFeast.com

  50. Yummy's avatar

    I enjoyed the sentiments you expressed. But you really need an editor.

    Like

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